Just Not Right
by Elodie the Scribe
Summary: A fangirl is inserted into her favorite Joker fantasy...but in a very unexpected way.


_Yup, another one...this isn't meant to make any sense, 'kay?_

_Just a thought as to what would happen if a girl DID insert herself into her favorite Joker fantasy...but not in the way she expects. Heh!_

* * *

**Not Right at All**

"Oh, Jokesy, why can't I be with you?"

Allie Lantz sighed at her desktop, which happened to feature an image of said "Jokesy" looking over his shoulder in a darkened street; to Allie's eyes, it gave a pefect view of his lil' butt.

She slightly stroked the screen tenderly, eyes glazing over somewhat. "If only."

Already, she'd put up a story on where a lovely young woman, Alice, was captured by the Joker because she was the mayor's daughter. But Alice changed the Joker's way of thinking, and turned him back into the kind-hearted, gentle man with a good sense of humor Allie just knew he had to be. Alice, like Allie, had red hair and brown eyes--but of course not in any form whatsoever ACTUALLY Allie.

Kinda.

Allie sighed again, this time in dissapointment as she left to go to bed. As she snuggled into the covers, she thought, _Oh, how I wish I could be in Gotham to make that wonderful story I wrote true..._

But as she slept, the Fates grinned to each other and granted her wish. This would be amusing to watch...

* * *

When Allie woke, she knew instantly something was wrong.

The air around her was cold and absolutely still, completely unlike the sun-warmed breeze in her room made by her open window. She opened her eyes and raised her head, and began to blink rapidly. The room she was in was dark and gritty, and it smelled like sulfur and feet.

Hesitantly, she sat up, looking around curiously.

"H-hello?"

Allie jumped, hand grasping her throat; that couldn't possibly be her voice, it was too deep, too cracked. Yet...it sounded vaugely familiar.

But an even greater surprise came when she cast a feeting glance down at herself and saw nothing but purple and green.

A...purple suit? _What the...?_

And then came the worst shock. She couldn't believe her eyes, so, with a shaking hand, she patted her chest--

--and felt nothing.

Her boobs were gone.

Struggling not to scream, Allie spotted a handheld mirror on a shelf nearby. She grabbed it, held in front of her, and bit her cheek so hard it bled, she was so startled.

Oh, yes. She knew the face in the mirror--a ghostly white face with thick, black circles around her eyes and long, red lips twisted into an immortal smile. The look of fright and near panic on the face looked completely strange on it, for the Joker was usually glaring like a hungry cat or laughing like a deranged monkey.

"This isn't happening," she rasped out, wincing as that same high-pitched, masculine voice spewed from her lips.

The sudden knock on her door made her yelp and drop the mirror. Trying to control her trembling, she opened the door to see two goons with clown masks. "Yo, boss," one of them said. "...you okay?"

"Uh...y-you woke me up," Allie replied, trying to sound as scary as possible.

The goons backed away a little. "Sorry, boss," the other said fearfully. "It's just--that girl you kidnapped. She wants to talk to you."

"Girl?"

"You know," the first goon said. "That pretty little redhead...Alice, I think."

_Alice? As in MY OC?! _Allie thought.

That's when she realized...her wish had come true.

She was in her story.

But as the Joker.

"Take me to her, then," Allie told the goons, and they led her to a small, closed off room down the hall.

Allie opened the door and gasped mutely. What crouched there on the matress...was her. But it couldn't possibly be. This Alice had fuller lips, larger eyes, a more womanly form. She stared up at her. "Morning, Joker."

"Uh--right," Allie nodded. "Hey, ah, Alice."

Alice shifted on the matress to get into a more comfortable position, and it was then that Allie saw something heavy and long move around in her pocket. _That's right; Alice attacks the Joker with a pocket knife in this part, but doesn't kill him, and he's so moved by her compassion and intelligence he befriends her._

She sat down next to Alice. "Listen, um--I've changed my mind."

"'Bout what?"

"About keeping you here. You can go home," Allie told her. "So...g-go on."

She gestured uselessly to the open door, where the two goons were exchanging confused looks.

That's when there was a flash of silver in the corner of her eye and a knife came flying at her heart.

Allie shrieked and instinctually lashed out, punching Alice in the face. Her OC fell back with a cry, a huge, ugly bruise forming on her white cheek.

_I remember this. There's a part in the story when the Joker hits Alice and comforts her, _Allie realized as Alice began to cry.

"I--wasn't kidding," Allie told her. "You can go home. Now." _Because I want to go home, too. _

Then, Allie slapped herself for her stupidity.

"And...I wish _I _could go home?" she asked hopefully.

"You're crazy," Alice scoffed. And then she said, "You really think he's that hot?"

Startled, Allie blinked at her. "What?"

"The Joker, I mean," Alice smirked. "Oh, sure, he's mysterious and angsty and stuff, and he's portrayed by Heath Ledger...but he's physco, and a killer."

Allie backed away, eyes widening. "Who are you?"

"I'm one of the Fates that granted your wish," Alice giggled. "And I was right; this IS funny!"

"Funny?" Allie squeaked. "But--"

"Listen, kid," the Fate whispered, suddenly serious. "We've read plenty of horrid fanfics about the Joker and some whiny, stuck-up little girl, so we intervened in your case. Do you think you've learned your lesson?"

"Y-yes," the girl said. "Please?"

"Good!" the Fate laughed. "Now: close your eyes..."

Moments later, Allie woke up in her own bed, in her own body...and late for school.

Meanwhile, back in Gotham, the real Joker glared down at the bloodied body of Alice. NO ONE tried to knife him and get away with it. It didn't matter she was the mayor's daughter; to him, she was another slashed up face.

As he walked out the door, one of his goons stopped him. "Boss, there somethin' you're not tellin' us?"

Slowly, the Joker turned back around. "What?" he snapped.

The second goon, who was facing the Joker's back at the moment, started making "Shut up!" motions to the first as he went on, "I mean, you just killed a totally attractive girl when you could've done anything you wanted to her. And you were all weird this morning, you reminded me of my niece."

A small but distinct tick appeared right beneath the Joker's left eye. "Your...niece."

"Yeah. Boss--do you...uh...like men that way, if you get my meanin'?"

"I get your meaning," the Joker said before he plunged the knife into the goon's chest.

And so, one fangirl learned her lesson, leaving the rest to the Fates' mercy, while the Joker had to go out and beat three men to death before he was calm again.

Heh.


End file.
